God Bless Me

Filed under: Daily Life — December 11, 2008 @ 10:17 pm

I get a lot of weird looks in the office because of my new sneezing technique, but I don’t care. I’m convinced it’s both revolutionary and sanitary.

I sneeze into trash cans.

It’s simply really. When I feel a sneeze coming on, I run towards a mini trash can, and sneeze into it.

It’s better than covering your mouth because your germ-infested hands will end up touching lots of things. Sneezing into trash cans ensures that your germs stay in areas that people rarely touch.

So there you have it. Sneeze into trash cans — because aren’t germs just natures garbage?

(Not a rhetorical question, the answer is yes.)

23 Comments »

  1. DarkJesus:

    You can just sneeze into your elbow.

  2. Kyle Lowe:

    I’ll start doing that!

  3. Eric:

    I do something that’s actually quite similar. I fart into boxes of Arm & Hammer.

  4. Cyrus:

    umm sorry to be a fun killer, but I kinda agree with DarkJesus on that. By the way, Eric made me lol.

  5. Corax:

    i also do this sometimes, but i don’t go out of my way for it

  6. Morris:

    we laugh now, but in 2yrs when this is the default thing to do when sneezing, Amir will be laughing (and sneezing) at the world~

  7. Sarrah:

    But when you sneeze into the trashcan, isn’t the force of your sneeze causing the germs and nasty crap in the garbage to bounce up and hit your face?

  8. Liam:

    I say fuck it. If someone’s immune system isn’t strong enough to fight off my germs, they don’t deserve to live.

  9. chris:

    i smell a jake and amir idea…

  10. asmear:

    That is disgusting. Imagine if you’re not the only one sneezing into that trashcan. You’ll basically be sticking your head into a nastiness trap.

  11. rando:

    use a tissue?
    …cutting out the middleman huh. genious.

  12. Zac O:

    “Fuck You”, says the janitor.

  13. Mauricio:

    this sounds like something out of an old comedy where someone pours out a bunch of black powder into a trash can and then someone else comes along and sneezes into it and gets their face covered in powder and looks at the camera like “wha wha whaaaaa not again!”

  14. shana:

    hmmm, Amir, sneeze into your elbow, trashcans on the streets of NY are full of nastiness, you will end up with Aids if you continue…well you know, probably.

  15. Ryan:

    I like to sneeze on my dog or other dogs that may be nearby. They never expect it and it’s always funny.

  16. jhoule:

    This is often advantageous, when your alternative is a floor.
    Sneezing onto tiled floors DOES have that cool sound though.

    Or, projectile sneezing, using a friend’s shirt as a tissue, is also acceptable in my book.

  17. ChuckNatey:

    My bro sneezes in his shirt, which is kinda unsanitary…until he bathes and does laundry, then everything is cool.

  18. jen:

    What if you forget and empty eraser poop or pencil shavings into your trashcan? Then when u sneeze into it all those things will fly up…

  19. wonmike:

    ^ eraser poop! LAL

  20. Jose':

    just carry around tissues and hand sanitizer.

    but make sure you keep them in a fanny pack.

    germ free…in style

  21. special face:

    But what about the hobos?

  22. emad ghias:

    I would love to smell jake and amir…mmmmmmmm

  23. Ian:

    This makes me stealing your trash even creepier.

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